I suppose I should start off by saying that we had everything go according to plan. I know that how my sons birth went is not always an option. But we went in planning au natural and had no complications, and everything progressed smoothly, so we got the birth event of our dreams. I only hope that all my future birth stories will follow suit...you know that whole each pregnancy is supposed to be easier legend that floats around? I'm banking on that. Because this one was pretty great, and I'm crossing my fingers I wasn't just totally spoiled.
Fun Fact #1. I am an assistant coach for the LHS ballroom Dance team. So my whole pregnancy I've been Ballroom Dancing. Both helping the High school team (formation Ballroom) and also teaching at the Fairbanks Ballroom Dance Club of Fairbanks. It was fabulous....and achy, but I fully believe staying active and moving helped my labor and delivery go so well.Tuesday at the LHS team practice we were talking calendars and upcoming performance schedule. The next one being a day trip to Nenana to prefor
m for the Tripod Celebration. This was scheduled for Saturday March 1st. I told Stefani (head coach) that "I want to go on this Nenana trip, and I intend to go, but I need to check with the Dr at my appt tomorrow first." That was the compromise with Travis when I told him about it. Travis had said "you'll be 39 weeks, you don't have to go. I don't think it's very prudent." That last phrase me me laugh. Nenana is a small town about an hour away from Fairbanks. Stefani's reply to my hesitation was that "it was just an hour away, if your water does break or you go into labor we'd have time to get you back to town." Dr Lawrason at our appt Wednesday told me that as long as I was feeling good, and not in labor it would be fine to go. I looked at Travis and he agreed (whether he had changed his mind or not-he knew he couldn't stop me) and so it was set.
Fun Fact #2
Dr Lawrason is an OBGYN who runs a one man office with a midwife, Lauren Baldwin. I had been seeing Lauren my whole pregnancy. When I went into Labor, she was still out of town. I only saw Dr Lawrason 2x prior to him delivering my baby. Once a year ago when I was needing fertility tx, and once on Wednesday while Lauren was gone. I didn't think I'd see him again.
About 3 weeks before my due date Lauren told me that she wouldn't be here my 39th week, something came up and she had to leave town. She was confident I wouldn't deliver until after my due date, and said "I fully intent to be at your birth." So, this appt with Dr Lawrason that last Wednesday in February was only the 2nd time I ever met him. I laughed after the appt that after all the extra monitoring we had been doing because Charley was measuring small, Dr Lawrason got to deliver the happy news that Charley had caught up and no more ultrasounds or non stress tests were needed. Little did I think that Dr Lawrason would get to have all the fun. He got me one the medicine that helped us conceive, he delivered the good news about Charley's growth, he surely I thought wasn't going to get to deliver the baby as well.
Fast forward now to Saturday-about 9:30 am, I was getting ready for the dance trip to Nenana and went to use the bathroom (again) and out came my mucous plug. There was no blood with it (so the term bloody show didn't apply) and a quick google search promised that it could still be weeks before delivery. I also checked with a few friends-some never lost their plug, and one said she lost it in bits and pieces for a few weeks. Combined with that info, and the fact that I was not having any contractions, I decided I was still going to go to Nenana. Besides-I had convinced myself at this point that Charley was staying put until at least Monday, because Lauren was gone Sunday-Sunday. Somewhere in my heart of hearts I must have known how this was really going to play out. For the day trip to Nenana I decided "just in case" to pack a change of pants/underwear, a few snacks and lots of water.
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| One of the team parents got my garbage bags to sit on and cookies to eat ;) |
We made it to Nenana with no incident, found the small civic center where the party was happening, and the team quickly got ready and marked their routines. The first performance went well.....there was alot of last minute reorganizing that made for a few mistakes they didn't get to sufficiently practice because of extenuating circumstances, but the crowd couldn't tell and the show went on. Mid performance I was notified that the office we were using as a dressing room got locked, and so 9 months prego went running around the edge of the stage to get help. The stage was a big empty space in the middle of a big room, so everyone saw me running. A few people even scolded me after the performance saying "I thought you were running to tell Stefani your water had broken!" or "You shouldn't be running when you are 9 months pregnant!" I laughed the comments off and assured them that I and baby were fine, and that I wasn't going to go into labor until at least Monday when my midwife was back in town. We had about an hour before the team was scheduled to dance again. I used the bathroom again, and started talking with some of the team parents and family that I knew from church. Their son and his wife were also here to see the team preform, she also pregnant, and using the same midwife, we were talking about the very soon arrivals, and Lauren. I think I was again musing about how Lauren was out of town and so I was NOT going to go into labor until at least Monday. Then, suddenly, without warning or any urge, I felt like I had just wet myself. Peed my pants. Which wouldn't surprise me as I had done this and another number a few times during my 39 weeks of baby building. My Son LOVED hanging out on my bladder. But, suspicious, I excused myself mid conversation to the tune of "haha, gotta go use the bathroom again" very much aware that it could be my water that broke. A little frantic inside, I tried to remember what I was supposed to remember about water breaking.....time, smell, amount? what was the other part of that acronym? Glad I had my change of clothes, in the bathroom I sat on the toilet putting the pieces together. This is a good amount, wet my underwear and my pants (nothing running down my leg) I'm not feeling any contractions, it doesn't smell like pee....what does it smell like? Its clear, it smells like seamen? Yep, that smells like semen. I don't have semen...... Thats what they say the amniotic fluid smells like right? Yep, thats it. What time is it? Its 2:15....how long ago did this happen? We'll say 15 mins ago.....we'll say it broke at 2. Crud.... I didn't think to grab a pad.... good thing that grocery store is right there. I need to go tell the other coaches....and get some pads or else these pants are going to be soaking by the time we get back (it kinda kept coming out whenever I moved).
Fun Fact #4 "labor" news travels quick.
I went to the the room where the other assistant coaches were and hanging my head in defeat, and apology I chuckled out the phrase, "Sooo......*sigh*.....my water just broke."
The resulting reactions on their faces read "Are you for real" And then they all quickly started brainstorming what needed to happen next. Those women are fabulous. Very efficient organized women I can only hope to aspire to be like. While they jumped to action of rearranging seating and figuring out how to coordinate getting me back to town, I settled on changing pants, getting a pad on and calling FMH to see what they said. Then, calling my husband who was at home and going to be thinking "I told you so." While in the middle of preparing to rearrange costumes and car seats, team members (ages 14-18) all started filing in to poke their heads through the doorway and see the action unfold. I laughed at them, the curiosity and fear of what Hollywood depicts "labor" and "water breaking" was in their eyes. I assured them "There's nothing to see" and helped them laugh about the situation. Explained that water breaking isn't an emergency, but that I did need to get back to town, and get to the hospital for antibiotics ***(Not the case for everyone, but I was GBS positive, normal for about 25% of women. GBS being a bacterial normally found in all people's guts, was found also in my birth canal, and to protect baby from complications of an infection just needed IV antibiotics before delivery.)***
It really is a bit of a mini miracle that events unfolded this way though. I was disappointed that this means Lauren wouldn't be there, but, I was not in pain or any real labor on the drive back to town. The other 2 assistant coaches (Edie and Michelle) drove me back in my car.....and I was able to sorta get a message to Travis in between broken calls and texts (no service in the mountains).
About 4pm we arrived back into town and I let my mom know. Which was in an attempt to contact travis better (we also have terrible signal at our house-so his phone wasn't cooperating either). My mom kept asking questions though which was frustrating. she also thought water breaking meant stand on your head and get to the hospital immediately-so her questions were really bugging me. And I nver did get to ask her to contact Travis, she wouldn't let me explain before she blurted out another question. "why aren't you at the hospital?" "Can I go to the pharmacy for you?" (When I said I needed antibiotics, she wasn't listening to the whole story!) "You were in Nenana?!?!!"
*Big Sigh* "Gotta go mom! We'll let you know when he's here!"
About 4:30 we were at my house with Travis, and finishing up packing for the hospital (Cuz who packs for the hospital ahead of time?) I had thrown some things into the pack and play so really all we had to do was grab a few more things and put them in the bag.
By 4:55 we were in the ER checking in, and headed up to the women's center. At this point I was starting to feel a few random mild contractions.
Fun Fact #5 At some point during labor EVERYONE will annoy you.
Checking in to FMH they started by having me change into a gown. I didn't think I would want to wear one of those but it was the easiest and i knew by wearing it I wouldn't ruin any of my clothes. The first thing they did when I got there was check to confirm it was my water that broke and if i was dilated or not. I was still feeling happy and excited about what was underway at this point and laughing with the nurse Tanya about Lauren being gone. I had never been checked before so when she went for it OH MY GOSH that was uncomfortable. Just a heads up being "checked" is literally the nurse shoving her hand into the birth canal, and then shoving her fingers into your Cervix, and then shoving again to confirm your measuring what she thinks your measuring. I was 1 cm, almost 2. As she did that I was telling her "I don't like that" "Oh this is not fun." "You can stop now!" She thought I was hilarious. Then she had to test for amniotic fluid. Dry q-tip goes back up into the birth canal and swabs around generously. And it hurts. To me the best description is a sharp tearing pain. The q tip being dry goes into an environment that doesn't like dryness and just fiddles around. Not cool. I think I actually told the nurse "I'm not sure I like you anymore" And again she laughed. I was sorta laughing, sorta crying. It really hurt, but the whole situation was new and novel and I suppose a bit comical. The whole order of how things had happened so far was not what I had planned, this baby was supposed to wait until MONDAY. Silly kid.
I had Travis call his parents and they came into town so Travis and his Dad could give me a priesthood blessing. That was very comforting and reassuring. Then they joined us down in the cafeteria to eat (I had finished the first dose of IV antibiotics by now so we could get up and move and walk around). There was all sorts of good food, but the only thing that sounded a bit appealing was a small small salad. During dinner contractions started getting more uncomfortable and a bit closer together. I have to admit I never really felt like there was a "pattern" to the contractions. They would tighten up and relax but then I still had to relax so it was hard for me to understand when they started and when they stopped. So I found it easier to say I had x many in 15 minutes and to guesstimate their space and duration than to actually time them like the birthing classes suggest. Maybe I would have made a bigger effort if I were laboring at home, but, I wasn't going to leave the hospital without a baby. After eating Travis and his dad went to the car to bring in all our things, and Travis' mom stayed with me as we went back upstairs. I was ready to move around for a little bit and she kept telling me "yeah your body knows what to do" and that was fine, but when she started saying "You have to breath through those contractions" I was starting to get a little impatient with her and ready for it to be just me and Travis and the nurses. At one point she even asked "Have they confirmed that a baby will fit through there?" And I really hope I didn't say anything mean back to her.....I know her question was out of love and concern and from her experience (all her babies had to come by C-section because her hips were "unfit for childbirth") but, like fun fact #5 states, At some point EVERYONE will annoy you. Don't worry, it passes, and for me each annoyance was a minor and temporary moment then it was gone.
Anyways, Fun fact #6 When the the Nurse checking you in likes you, she'll make sure you get an AWESOME nurse at shift change. Tanya even said at one point "I'm gonna wet myself, your hilarious!" And "I'll make sure you get a really great nurse tonight!"
Despite the torture I endure at the hands of Tanya, she was awesome, and she delivered on her promise, I did have a FABULOUS nurse that night. Danielle was perhaps the only one that never annoyed me. I was really hesitant to try new laboring methods as the evening went on, but she was patient and encouraging and told me the honest truth, she was attentive and kind and I just can't say enough about her. Was so lucky to have her both the night I delivered and the next night I was there. She said later that when she gt there that Saturday evening, Tanya came running to her and said "You have to meet my patient!" So from the get go we were both excited to work together to get the baby out of me.
One of the things she did when my back labor was starting to get more painful and hard to bear, she offered a more midwife type pain management solution. She and another nurse put 4 little intra-dermal saline shots into my lower back. It works on the gateway theory of pain that suggests your body will only process one sensation at a time. Near the base of my spine, the saline solution burned going into my skin, and it burned for a good minute or two, but when it stopped burning, the back labor was gone. FABULOUS. I could finally relax between contractions, and Travis got a break from having to apply so much counter pressure on my hips. Travis was a superstar labor partner. He was on his feet for those 12 hours, tired, with a bit of a head cold and quite uncomfortable bowels (nerves? Constipation? Not sure but he wasn't comfortable at all) and he never once complained, didn't leave my side without first getting my consent. There was one point when he was asking questions and I had to make him stop. Question all day had been driving me nuts so I snapped "Don't ask me anything, just talk to me" And he did. He also Hummed some hymns to me later in the night which was very relaxing. His voice, the familiar tunes, and the lack of lyrics gave me something to focus on that was outside of my pain. While he hummed melodies I thought of the words that accompanied the tunes. A very welcome distraction.
After a while, the back labor returned as the saline shots wore off. At that point, Daniele offered to check me again. I was hesitant saying "I don't ever want to be touched like that again" but I was also really uncomfortable, and I wanted to know how much progress I had made, while scared that I hadn't made any progress. Finally I consented, and we waited for a contraction that I could relax from, and then she checked, and with a big smile said "Well, you've reached your goal!" I was SO relieved! I told her at that point that yes, I wanted to get in the tub, she said she would go get it ready, I replied that in the meantime I would hop back in the shower. Even now I started to feel some mild urges to push, but I tried to just breath through it and relax. Danielle returned and we made it over to the tub room (which thankfully was not as far down a hallway as I thought it would be) and then I got in the tub. There was some instant relief. I would sit up when I was getting to warm, Travis fed me ice chips, and then as a contraction would hit it worked well for me to sink back into the water. Travis said afterwards I was in there 45 mins, but to me is seemed like less. I really started feeling urges to push at this point so Danielle went to get Dr Lawrason. He came in, they helped me move over to the bed, and he checked me. I was at an 8, almost a 9. He allowed to me push on the next few contractions so he could see what was happening, and during the pushing I was stretching, so, he allowed me to keep pushing.
Fun fact #7 Pushing is HARD!
Fun Fact #8 Delivery is fabulous.
Final fun facts:
#9 Charley Pooped on me immediately after delivery.
#10While I held Charley I was told that he was sunny side up, (confirming that was why I had back labor). And his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and shoulder. He was positioned kinda angled which is why his head was so misshapen (it came to a point up on the Left). Despite the mishaped head and the swollen eyes, he was the most perfect thing I've ever seen.#11I also used this time while Dr Lawrason was stitching me up (small 1 degree tear, forward not back) to ask if that was perineal massage he had been doing. He confirmed it was and I quickly shared "I didn't like that, but thank you." The nurses from the nursery were also there, and they were a little worried about his breathing so I let them take him to do their tests.
#12He got an apgar score of 8/9.
#13 And was categorized as "mild respiratory distress" (grunting in between cries, some retraction in his ribs and nose flaring) however after they brought him back to me and we did some quality skin to skin care and a little bit of nursing he pinked up and his breathing went completely normal. All babies need is their mommies.
#14 The next morning when Dr Lawrason came to check on me, I told him my throat hurt from all the noise I made. He told me "I don't think anyone has ever told me their throat hurt after delivering a baby" and we laughed. He also assured me I wasn't the loudest patient he had ever had. Some of the noises I made were really throaty grunts while pushing, and rasberries with my lips while trying to slow down my breathing. Not at all what I had imagined for myself, but its what worked for me.
#15 Charley was born at 2:02 in the morning on March 2nd. He shares a Birthday with Dr Suess! He weighed 6lb .04 oz, and was 19 inches long. If I had any tips for you mommas out there, it would be what my midwife told me on the phone (my fabulous nurses contacted her, and though she couldn't be there, she called me at the beginning). "Take it one contraction at a time. I thought well duh when she said that, but if she hadn't said that, I would have really struggled. There were a few contractions that left me thinking "How much longer do I have to do this? I can't do this all night!" but each contraction is different. And I recalled Laurens words and refocused. Some contractions are worse than others. Some intense ones are followed by less intense ones, and if you can just focus on getting through the one your in, then focus on relaxing after, the time will pass pretty quickly. I had also set for myself the 7cm goal with Lauren at one of my prenatal appointments. The idea being that by 7cm we knew that my labor pattern would be well established and unlikely to stall out if I got in the tub. And in my mind, if I could get to 7cm without pain interventions, I could do it the rest of the way. It worked for me.
Also, post partum, I've had a fabulous support network, and Travis has been able to take ALOT of time off. If you can hack it, definately try to have someone with you for 2 weeks. The first week I was pretty immobile/sore. Travis was essential! During the 2nd week, it was nice to have him but I was a little more independant. He's still home, and still helpful, but I think if he had to be at work, now in the 3rd week, I'd be able to manage without him (he's home, but he's working in his office and I don't see him much during regular work hours). Also, skin to skin contact is a fabulous little reset for me and Charley. When nursing doesn't work, it seems like if I strip us both down (him to the diaper, me to the bra) then just cuddle, he'll calm down. I fear the day when that will no longer work.
Anyways, now that I got that all written finally, I hope you enjoy. I'll be coming back to reminice often.
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