Charley Eli Payton 2014

Our Year was just so awesome, it was worth the time to make a slideshow of pictures to music.  Hope you enjoy!

The Payton Family Christmas Letter, 2014.

What a year is has been indeed!  Here's our Top 10 highlights for the year 2014.

#1 of course, was the Birth of our firstborn, Charley Eli Payton.  My favorite moment was at his birth, as the Dr's and Nurses laid him on my chest my new little stranger squirmed and it felt just like it did when he was inside, only suddenly I could tell what was a knee or what was a foot.  Travis said his favorite thing about being a Charley's Daddy is  " his constant smiles and laughter, especially when he sees me." He also said a few times this year that he is "proud of [you] that it was all med free."  Little does Travis know how much his humming to me during contractions really helped me focus on something besides the pain.  That was not fun.  Being a mommy is so worth it though.

#2  Grama Elmer came to visit!  We made cinnamon rolls and had a ball helping organize Melanie's parents new house on the hill.  While here, Grama also helped whip out a few beautiful quilts our Relief Society was gathering for youth in the Alaskan Village of Tanana.

#3 We also had Amanda and children and Robin in town!  So Charley got to meet everyone, or rather everyone got to meet Charley.  Best quote of the trip was from sweet Clara who said "I want a baby just like this one mommy."

#4  We got to fly to Colorado and meet the cousins and aunts and uncles on daddy's side of the family.  By Daddy I mean Travis-we talk to each other in terms of Charley's relationships now.  Go figure.  But, We saw Lauren Graduate High School, went to everyone elses advancements (Kindergarten, Elementary to Jr High, Jr high to High school and such).  Helped with cousin Isac's Eagle scout Project, and DROVE 16 HOURS to Oklahoma to chill at Grama Joann's house.  Charley had a ball with so many people to play and snuggle with.  He did not have a ball being in his car seat for forever.  It usually takes 12 hrs to drive to Grama's house, but we had to stop frequently to feed and change a grumpy baby.

#5 We went to Oregon for a wedding!  Teri and Asia tied the knot in the beautiful Columbia River Gorge.  We are happy for them and are glad we got to attend and spend the short weekend celebrating.  While there we also got to visit with my Uncle Dennis and his family.   It was long overdue and a tender visit.  Saw some beautiful sights in the Gorge as well between Portland and Washington State.

#6  Travis did the old switcheroo at work.  He left the Training and Development Department for Desktop Engineering.  There will be some disappointed professors he has regularly helped over that few years.  He still works in the same building up on campus, just a different floor. Lost his window for a bit more of a cave that resembles and airplane tube.....but he is enjoying being able to do more technical work than before.  Should help him round out that resume.  We've found through some application processes (LIKE WITH GOOGLE!) that with only IT support experience, people are only wanting to hire him in more IT support positions.  He has a wonderful manager Kenny Coon up on campus who is so willing to help Travis achieve his goals and put him in places where he stays challenged and excited about his work.

#7  Travis at work also had the opportunity before his switch to travel to Washington DC per request of Carl, the University of Alaska's Chief Information Technology Officer to meet with the tops dawgs of the McCain Institutes's Decision Theatre.  UAF is interested in building one up here on this side of the states.  Its pretty fancy stuff.  They went to learn more about how it was built, and how it is run.  While in the Nations capital, Carl had a day of meetings that didn't involve Travis, so he got to play tourist and see all the Historic Icons and landmarks.  Melanie is 100% Jealous.  Twice this year I was not able to attend a Washington DC Trip.  My first missed opportunity was in February when the LHS Ballroom Dance Team went there to preform and do workshops with inner city schools, I was 38 weeks pregnant.  One Day..... I hope to go.

Living room Before/when we moved in it was like this

#8  We Painted!!  Or I should say our Friends painted?  In January over New Years  break my Dear friend Kendra Tibbs came in her free time to paint the baby's room for us!  Travis wasn't available or that motivated to paint over the pink walls with Ponies and Palm Trees and Melanie Being Great with Child was scared of the fumes and exhausted at the thought of the repetitive up and down motion, as well as still busy with the Dance Team so Kendra came to our rescue!  We seriously owe her big time.  I don't think we'll ever thank her enough.
 Then, this summer, with my mobility back, and so inspired by the transformation of the "pony room" decided to paint the kitchen, and the living room.  Such a difference paint can make!  So satisfying to really start making our home our own.  Thankful for Help on our ginormous living room from Jamie Olsen who lives with us, doing the majority of the heavy lifting there on her day off of work.  We seriously have great friends.  And I managed to cover my kitchen with a 3$ quart of paint.  Felt super amazing about that one.

Living room after!

#9 Continual enjoyment serving in the Primary.  Travis teaches the CTR 7 class which is the class of children who turn 8 and get baptized.  Melanie is 2nd counselor in the Primary Presidency.  Kids really say the darnedest things.  One of my favorites was one of our 4 year olds who struggled the first half of the year with not being with mom, was out in the hallway with his teacher.  I told her I would help him so she could go back to the rest of her class.  In our little chat, I tried to convince him to go sit with his class while I would go and get  his mom to come sit with him.  He agreed, until at the last second said "I know, how about you go sit with my Class and I'll go get my mom."  Made me chuckle, I bargained back to we would go get his mom together.

#10  Witnessing the power and miracle of the atonement applied in action as events from our past come full circle.  The atonement of Jesus Christ truly heals our hearts, homes, and relationships.  Merry Christmas everyone!

4th of July Picnic with Grampa Skip

Modern Communication

I just watched a movie called "Everyone's Fine" where a recent widower attempts to gather his grown children together and all of them cancel so he goes across the country by bus and train to visit them all.  The irony is he spent his life working on phone wires, coating them with their protective coating and yet no one talks to him.  They all talk to each other, but he is in the dark.

I am in the dark people.

And while there's some liberation in disconnection, theres also a bit of frustration.

My phone is taking a visit to the phone Dr.  Its stuck in a perpetual boot cycle after a mishap following a mishap.

And so I have a "burner phone" to get me along temporarily, but to try and save on minutes I tried to get in touch with a few people by google hangouts, email, facebook, imessage on the ipad.....I was reaching out to them after they first tried reaching me (through my hubby).  But it proved frustrating.  I got 1 of 3 attempted contacts.  No one uses anything but the regular old text back and forth, or a simple phone call very efficiently.  I just thought that was ironic with all our smart phones, computers, laptops and mobile devices, the simple favorite is the original thing.

Its also Ironic that I was wishing my grandma had something like facebook to catch up on, but now, I have a greater appreciation for a simple phone call.  I call her here shortly.

Thanksgiving 2014

Its been a while since I updated this thing.  I decided what better day to get back on track than the ever wonderful Thanksgiving holiday, so to express my great love and gratitute for the journey that is this life.  As we kick off into the Holiday season, here is what is on my heart and in my mind:

I am so thankful for my Savior Jesus Christ.  I know he lives, loves me, and prepared the way for us to live lives of happiness and peace.  Because of him I can repent-I can make my mistakes right and move forward with hope and faith in the trials that come my way.  I can be joyful in my blessings because no matter how fleeting these moments are-I get the greatest blessing of all.   I have an eternal family.  As I hear of the sadness of the world I do not fear what lies ahead.

I am so thankful for my sweet husband Travis who works so diligently to provide for me and Charley.  Who sacrifices himself in so many ways so that I can be here at home with my angel son.  He is my best friend, and I need to remember to be more like him-a bit more patient, a lot more kind, and content.

I'm thankful for Charley, and the joy he brings my heart.  I am so grateful for the trials experienced in waiting for him to come to our family.  I am more grateful that I get to be his mother-the responsibility to raise him to be a happy and healthy hardworking man is one I pray for divine help with everyday.  His happiness is my happiness, his milestones a celebration.  His sweet face as he snuggles in and cuddles calm him to sleep is just the best thing ever.

I'm thankful for my mom-her sacrifices of self to do whatever is necessary to care for her family are inspiring and a testimony of her love for us and her service to God.

I'm thankful for my loving siblings, and their strengths which always inspire me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Elyse is 8!

My baby sister is 8 years old today.  I was reflecting the other day, with the school start up and parents discussing the bittersweet feelings of their kids being back in school all day, of how great a blessing this sweet girl has been in my life.   I could relate to the moms of the older kids on how they'll miss their helpers.  Elyse has been an amazing helper all summer long playing at my house.  She would do dishes, sweep and mop floors, help entertain Charley, help make sandwiches for lunch/snacks.  But even more than that, Elyse litterally is in the top 3 best things that could ever have happened to me (next to marrying Travis and being Charley's mom). 

 In high school, it was my Sophmore year.  Amanda was a Sophmore in College.  Robin in her senior year of high school.  It was about Christmastime that I realized "I will be the only one home with mom for the next two years!"  The thought scared me for a few weeks, then I really started liking the idea.  Then, during Christmas break one morning I woke up to Amanda yelling "mom are you pregnant?! Whose pregnancy test is this?"  My mom answered with "it better not be yours!"   Readjustment had to take place as I realized not only would I not be the only one home now, I would be home with a newborn!!  Elyse was born about 8 months later, Robin and Amanda left for college the week she was born, and I started Jr year.  Because of personal situations my step dad lived at a desperate residence at the time, so a lot of evenings were just me my mom and baby Elyse.  I became her second mom. My mom worked, and her time additionally was split between two households, but Elyse's presence in our life prompted some serious healing from past trials in my heart. 

She continues to amaze me, make me laugh and smile.  Her heart is a big one, she's friends with everyone, quick with a hug and fast to help.  She's always looking for a way to help her brother, mom, and big sisters.  Super loving and kind, and only gets sassy when she gets bored (which can happen easily).  So, here's my shout out to my favorite baby sis!  Happy 8th birthday beautiful girl!

Family Home Evening

I'm pretty proud of us.  This has been on our list of things we should be doing and we're finally doing it.  I went through a small spurt of doing really well with personal gospel study-and I say gospel study because sometimes, in all honesty, ancient prophets sound boring (which is the nice way of saying scripture study sounds boring).  So I was reading from the marriage and family institute manual about successful parents and families and it really drove home the message of family home evening.  Now that I'm in a study slump I'm at least happy to say we're maintaining our FHE practice.  

First week Travis used FHE as a reason to get some books for Charley.  We had fun at Barnes and Noble and brought home pat the bunny touch and feel zoo edition.  My favorite page is the frog with the sticky tounge.

Second week we went on a walk while I told Travis about the importance of FHE I had just learned about.  I always knew it was important, but, never did I understand why as clearly as I do now.  We now have a goal more than just to have it, but to use it as a tool to encourage righteous children, develop family unity, and increase family love.  The article I read was here:  https://www.lds.org/manual/print/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng

Our 3rd week we went grocery shopping at Sams Club and had dinner at their concession.  

Our 4th week Travis' parents came over and Travis and his dad chopped wood for winter fuel.  Yay!  We shared the scripture "if ye are prepared ye shall not fear."

Our 5th week was this last Monday, and we added to the routine an opening prayer, song and lesson.  We just used the primary sharing time outline for the lesson because I have to give it this upcoming week.  We talked about how we can in our family improve our sabbath day observance.  Travis was in charge of the activity and he decided we would do yard work.  So he mowed and I weed wacked.  Charley slept most of the evening in his baby carrier.  

Future ideas I was to use for FHE's:

-Clean out the garage 

-Take treats to some of the single members and or the less active families in our ward, and or the families on our visiting teaching/home teaching routes. The idea being that we are going to be a family that thinks of others and shares and expresses love.  I have a long list of people included on this activity.  It will be repeated lots.  Good missionary opportunity as well.

-Walks

-Bird watching

-Aurora watching

-Berry picking

-Family photo nights 

-lake play (because we need daddy to have these kinds of days with us!)

-making treats for holidays

-decorating for holidays

-singing songs together

-playing board games

-playing old classic games (old faceful, the penny and flour game, honey do you love me, ect)

This is just a start of all the fun things we can do for family home evening.  I'm looking forward to adding to the list all the ideas Travis has, and really taking the time to stop what we're doing to spend a quLity evening together be in in work, play, service, or song.  It's gonna be great and we're gonna do great things.  What are your favorite family home evening ideas?

House makeover pictures

I never did share the finished look, probably because its not finished.  I guess I shared on Facebook, but that doesn't count.  I want it documented on the bloggity blog.  Anyways, to finish I still need to:

      -Put a second coat of paint on the doors and trim in the Living room.

      -Put a first and second coat of paint on doors and trim in the hallway, and kitchen/garage door.

      -Touch up a few spots of the brown along edges

      -Touch up the ceiling where brown got messy

      -Put a second coat of paint on the Kitchen Walls.  Remember I did that one with just a quart?  It had such a big impact that I called it "good for now" but the longer I sit around with it, the more I see how badly a second coat is needed. *Sigh*   

I also have been having fun with tie it all together with accessories which I have made all by myself!  GASP!  Really, actually, my mommy helped (Did the majority of it) but the idea of all by myself means I picked the colors, bought raw material and created something rather than going to the store.  Its beautiful, and VERY satisfyng.  Making a home your own is really what how ownership is all about.

Anyways, without further ado:  Here's my crib :)

The Brown is called "Brown Tepee" by Behr.

The Blue is Behrs "Celtic Grey"

The Ugly Old Kitchen Color.  Had greenish yellow undertones.  Very Cardboard-esque

Pillow Covers on my moms couch.....for facebook photo update ;)

The Blue is the main accent color in the Living room, and is closely related to the Celtic Grey in the Kitchen.  The Yellow from the other pillow is the second smaller accent color in the living room.  The Green from said pillow is the kitchens accent color.  Next we need to figure out what to do with the sun room....  next summer.  I've got painting burn out right now.

The left over fabric with green surround made for a great table runner.  My mom coached me through making this, but I did do it myself.

What I have done to make everything coordinate:

1) I bought the pillow cover fabric first.  I knew I wanted to redo my house colors, but I didn't know where to start.  There are so many options.  I had pinboards on pintrest with inspiration, but paint sample after paint sample to try and mimic the feeling of those rooms just didn't sit well (aside from the celtic grey-but, go read that story here)

How did I choose fabric not knowing what I wanted the end result to look like?  I chose the stuff I liked that was part of the 70% off sale.  There were other fabrics I also liked, but they weren't as deeply discounted, and they would have probably produced an entirely different feel.  Still probably would have been good choices, but I let the finances make the decision, and I'm happy with how its gone.

2)The colors in the most colorful fabric (biggest pillow and table runner) have been what I use for inspiration of all the walls and accent colors.  It really ties everything together in a way I never thought I could make things tie together.  Also, I haven't tried to find exact matches.  Just things that blend with it.  Like in the living room, when I decided yes to do a neutral color in there, the perfect match would have been a taupe-but I just thought those paint options were too dark or too grey and thus ugly colors.  I went with Brown Tepee because I liked it, and I decided gosh darn it it was gonna have to work.  

The 1 quart 3 dollar kitchen makeover

So, my kitchen-all my main living spaces actually are painted in "eh" type colors.  Usually people walk in and go "wow" but that's I think less because they are great colors and more because they are big in-your-face colors. My living room is still a bold red on two walls and a muted green on the other two/down the hallway with a beigeish cardboard brown trim.  My kitchen echoed the cardboard brown trim color on the walls, and my sunroom which connects is a pale green with a second shade of soft green on the trim in there.  The hallway from there to my bedroom repeats the in your face red from half the front living room  There really is no flow, and I really don't love any of the colors.  In fact, red is one of my least favorites.  And this red is dark in these north facing rooms.  The kitchen color was pretty lifeless and drab and I just got fed up.  

We've been in our house a year and a half now and I have intended to paint it since we said we wanted to buy it, but haven't been able to pick colors.  Partially because I'm lazy and only wanna do it once.  Partially cuz I'm lazy and the colors were bearable.  And partially because I'm lazy and didn't want start a project. 

We'll, I was fed up with my own indecision and made one of the best impulsive decisions I could have made.  Really, read, I got lucky.  

You see a month ago when we got home from vacation I had the lets do this thing mentality.  We had been at my sister in laws beautiful lulled beige home with white doors and white trim and I just felt so inspired to come home and paint it all lulled beige.  Playing with behr.com and their preview colors tool and with pintrest and talking with Travis-lulled beige though beautiful really wasn't going to be our style.  I got some samples a few weeks ago based off behr.com and one of them I wasn't too happy about so the guy at Home Depot remixed it to another shade which I guess put too much pigment in so they had to give me a quart instead of a regular sample.  So I got the quart for 3 bucks (sample price).  Then, in this moment of

Insanity last night after looking at the sample on the wall and figuring anything was better than the cardboard brown I decided I would try that quart in the kitchen.  And at 11 pm I started painting.  Spent about 2 hrs and didn't get far, cleaned up and came to bed.  11 am I hit it full steam and finished with dinner in the oven by 4:30.  It helped that my 7 yr old sister tended to my 4 mo old baby.  So, I need to go get another quart

Mixed and do layer #2, but I'm very happy with how it looks in here.  Especially for having been so impulsive and costing me only 3 bucks in paint!

Before:  

After:

Yes, on the green rug those are green jellies.  Love them.  

So happy to be in the kitchen now.  My dirty white cabinents look less grungy, but I'm still gonna try and refinish those soon.  The door with the mirror goes to the garage, and it's gonna get painted white when I refinish the cabinents and trim and other doors throughout the house.  

The paint used was a mix of delicate mist turned into Celtic blue.  I'm certain I'll take the left overs with me to get it matched when I go for a second quart so I can apply a second layer.  I really really love how it turned out.  

Now I wanna take the left over cream puff from Charley's baseball wall and put it in the sunroom!  When I told my mom that she reminded me that I have a lot of my dad in me-and that I need to finish one project before I start the next and don't finish the first.  Both funny and sad....but that's another story.  

If I were a mommy blogger

I started following a fabulous little blog called The View along the way.  This lady is awesome!

She blogs about things she's learned as she's become a DIY'er in order to save a few bucks and meet financial goals.  By a few bucks, I really mean that she and her husband paid off their mortgage in 5 yrs.  

Reading the blog was inspiring and disappointing.  

First of all, I love her genuine approach when she says Do it this way, because I didn't the first time but learned my lesson the hard way.  

Second of all I love how she manages to throw in tidbits about her family here and there in a fun cute way that makes me feel like my quirks are less quirky, but something fun and unique.  

But then, I think that I just don't have the niche to do what she does.  I don't have the follow through or attention to detail she does.  I didn't start the Dave Ramsey debt reduction program before I acquired my house and the job we have-ha, I didn't start the Dave Ramsey program at all.  It should be so simple to live within our means.  So many success stories that go huge are because they had the goal before they bought the house.  She's made smart money decisions along the way.  We kind of fly by the seat of our pants around here, and it can be pretty scary.  

I just don't have that drive.  I don't have that follow through.  I thought even for 5 minutes about what would it take to make an income on a blog like she does and got even more overwhelmed-what would my niche be?  What would my contribution to the world of Search engines and ad monetization be?  

I feel like I don't have one.

     Sound familiar?  

I'm not that romantic and lovey-dovey like the ladies who earn on love actually

I'm not a crafty do-it-yer'self'er like the ladies on Live Love DIY or the view along the way

I'm not a great chef like the six sisters or Mel at Mel’s kitchen cafe-even though we do share a name

I'm not into the whole couponing movement because that kind of organization just isn't my style.

Thought about maybe a general "homemaker" theme but again fell victim to the thoughts that what can I contribute that isn't already out there.

I'm not child sleep expert, breastfeeding expert, dance expert (though I like to think I have a few pointers there....see magicrhythmsdance.com even though it’s usually not updated.), garden expert, fashion, health, or beauty expert.  What am I?

I'm a regular person just trying to get by.  Trying to find my way of doing things, and organizing things, and prioritizing things.  My Laundry sits in hampers too long (oh, just remembered there is a load in the washer....from yesterday I need to go switch forward), I go over my budget at the grocery store on a consistent basis, my baby uses disposable diapers because it’s easier, sleeps on me and uses his pacifier because right now that's easier.  I don't have a schedule, I do manage to plan a menu but usually it gets swapped around.  If I get a shower before noon the day is a success.  

So what can I offer the World Wide Web?  

How about my optimism and faith?  MY experiences-even if it means my experiences finding other helpful experiences (like the ABOVE linked blogs).  I hope that if this mommy blogger ever got big enough to strike it rich people would read my blog for a dose of sanity among the perfection standards brought to us by Pinterest.  that if we are going to read things on the Internet my blog wouldn't be a place where you walk away feeling disappointed in yourself thinking "they make it sound so easy, why didn't it work for me?"  Things usually are simpler than I imagine them to be, but for this girl it always seems like I put in more effort with substandard results-and know what that means?  Those results are either going to be good enough for me (like flat chocolate chip cookies-goodness knows they still taste good), or not worth it in the first place (I'm talking to you family organization binders and mail sorting systems that look cute!  Good riddance-who has time/money for that?).  

So my desk may only be clear when company comes over (and let’s be honest, only certain company is worth clearing my desk-like little people who will pull it on the floor) and on sunny days the kitchen will stay a mess because gosh darn it we will go play at the beach and just eat fish sticks for dinner because sunny days are that worth it.   

Putting things away already

I've been slowly cleaning up post vacation while still also trying to get yard work done as much as charley will let me.  But, part of clean up was my mess of a room, and I had to make room for Charley's size 3-6 mo clothes which meant putting away for a long time the newborn and the size 0-3 month clothes. Those newborn outfits seem sooo tiny now, but when he was born they seemed so big!!  It's crazy what happens in such a short time.  I can't remember when I wieghed him last-it was either a day or two ago but no more than a week and he litterally gained a pound, and I feel like it all came on last night.  

What a whirlwind

So, I am back home, and it never felt so good.
It was a great 3 week long vacation, and we got to see lots of family. I just never realized how much I love my bed and my piles of pillows.

My sweet baby is 3 months old and things are starting to normalize.  Its both exciting and sad.  He can put himself to sleep.  I Haven't taken advantage of this in full force yet, becuase we've been travelling, but my baby is definately capable of laying down on his own and taking a nap.  His feedings are starting to spread out also.  Which again is a relief and a bit sad.  It means he's exiting that blessed sweet and difficult but wonderful newborn stage.

He has flown on an airplane like a superstar.
Been on his first big rd trip (12 hr drive from Denver to Pryor OK became a 16 hr rd trip!)
He has met his great Grama Elmer, Great Grama and Grampa Sullivan-aka Grammi and Bumpi; his Great Grama and grampa Graves, aka Grama Joann and Grampa James.
He's met his Cousins Clara, Lucy, Loryn, Izac, Kayla, Rylee, Payton, Sebastian-and extended cousins in Colorado/Oklahoma.  He's met his aunts Amanda, Robin, Traci, Teri, Asia, Trinity, and his uncle Keith.

He now loves to grab everything, play on his tummy, giggle at mommy and daddy.

He's been swimming for the first time as well.

Plans for the next 3 months are to figure out his nap and bedtime routines, transition him to sleeping in his own bed at night next to mommy and daddy.

We're in 3-6 mo clothes, and size 2 diapers, somewhere around 12 lbs.  Gonna play all summer long with Aunt Elyse and Uncle Liam.

Goals for our little family is to pay off a few debts, get more fit and reduce our spending with some team efforts on budgeting.  Read our scriptures every night (started this on vacation) say our family prayers, read conference talks by next conference.

the 4th trimester

Heres a few surprises I discovered in the first 6 weeks after baby.

1st.  Feminine Hygiene Pads.  They are great not only for the usual reason, but also because of gravity vs bladder battles.  Know that for awhile, gravity will win.  Practice some kegals.

2nd, Oatmeal.  Be warned, maybe its the iron, maybe its the fiber, maybe its the gosh darn oxytocin released when you eat the oatmeal in a yummy yummy chocolate nobake cookie.  What ever it is, it will plump those boobies right up.  Everytime.  Admire your motherly physique.  Its okay.

3rd, the topic of commitments and doing things for others.  Why did no one tell you to take advantage of this post partum time(oh right they did, you just have selective hearing).  You don't have to prove anything to anyone or yourself.  Just enjoy your baby.  Newborn life goes on super speed.  We had bliss those first 2 weeks with baby, staying in bed, sleeping, eating, pooping reapeat. Then you tried to start entering the real world again.  BLAH!  Don't do it!  Don't promise to do anything for anyone for the first 6 weeks.  And then, only then, can you start making commitments to other people for future obligations.  But rememeber, your obligation now is to your baby.  He needs you.  You are the one who can feed him.  Your smell is what will comfort him. Yea, there may be other out there who can shush him to sleep, but sleep isn't always what he needs.  Just call those people over when you need sleep.

Next we have the topic of food.  I LOVE food.  That said, don't forget to eat food.  You have to eat in order for baby to eat.  So, by gosh, I know how much you just want to stay in bed and cuddle, but, it'll be a more enjoyable experience if you go put something in your belly, then hurry back.  Don't let yourself get distracted by those darn commitments you made to people that you wish you hadn't in retrospect.  Anybody can make a dance program, or run the lights at the show, only you get to be baby's mommy, and baby is only as small as he is today.  Too quickly today is yesterday and he's already bigger!

Also, news flash.  You don't have to share your baby.  At church, at family gatherings-you only have to share if you want to.  And, you will want to, but when your ready for him back, its ok and it is good for you to "cut in."  Even if he's still asleep and they aren't ready to give him back, this is your baby.  That means he's on your time frame.  Don't just wait until Charley is ready to eat (unless thats what you want) because then you become just the milk wagon.  And I promise, you are soooo much more than just  a milk wagon.  That said, you should want to share with Daddy, and insist that daddy take his turn and not come interrupt your shower.  Just because baby cries doesn't mean he's hungry.  Its usually the reason, but, when he cries and won't eat, don't feel horrible about yourself.

Make Daddy change the nighttime diapers-even if your feel guilty because he has to go to work in the morning.  You don't want to resent daddy because you feel like your not getting help and then go through the guilt cycle because you humbly recognize how much daddy does for you already.  He can do nighttime diapers too, its not too much to ask.

Lastly, all those hormones from pregnancy?  Rememeber them?  They are still around.  Your logical mind will wonder "why am I crying?" your emotional mind will say "I don't know and I don't care" and the tears will flow, along with sweat.  There are many different things that flow in early mommyhood.  I wonder if thats where the saying "go with the flow" came from......probably, hopefully not.  More accurate would a be hot mess.  Not hot as in "hey sexy" but hot as in I'm- sweating-and-I-don't-know-why hot.

And BTW, just expect it.  You will feel guilty.  About alot of things.  Roll with it, and "go with the flow" (insert childing giggles here).
 

Because you read the whole thing, you get the reward of veiwing adorable pictures.  Here ya go!

What do you need for the first 3 weeks of baby's life?

3 weeks postpartum I found myself talking to my friend who is pregnant with twins about what to put on her baby registry.  Here's the things I've used most.

Breast pads.  They're not comfortable, no matter what brand, but the lasinoh stay in place.

Always Pads (because Always is the best brand-I like the infinity, their soft/cotton-y not mesh-y)

Diapers (We had a 6 lb baby, we've needed the newborn diapers, and more than people say you'd need.   Also, Pampers fit best, and Pampers Sensitive is worth it, the regular pampers/pampers swadlers will irritate his skin.  I thought

Wipes

Baby Powder (really helps his bum stay less red)

A&D ointment (I like it better than Desitin, it seems to work better, and stink less)

Car seat (obviously, hospital won't send you home without it.  Make sure you have the head support that comes with the Carseat.  It'll fit right, and add that extra layer of warmth for peace of mind when you put your tiny tiny baby in that big car seat in Alaska in March....)

Camera.

For a 6lb baby, a few Newborn Size clothes, 0-3 mo clothes are TOO BIG!  (But by 3 weeks you can start trying those on, and cry because your baby is growing so fast)

Several Nursing bras-(3-4) because you'll leak and smell like sour milk, or you'll leak and baby will think its time to eat even though he just did.  Change the bra, you'll feel better.

Swaddle blankets-muslin ones are good, but the swaddle me's are GREAT.  All babies are little hudinis but the swaddle me helps turn hudini back into your baby, and helps your baby sleep longer.

We've been terrible with food-if your a health nut don't judge me.  But processed easy microwaveable foods (like those bean and beef burritos, corn dogs, frozen pizzas[oven] have been great.).  We also had our baby the week they delivered girl scout cookies....that was perfect timing.  And we remembered how much we love ice cream sandwiches........

I do also have fruit.  Which I eat with peanut butter or nutella..

Baby monitors, two way.  So when Travis is on the other side of the house and I need something, we use them like walkie talkies.

Towels.  LOTS of towels.  Leaky boobs, leaky baby.  Just sleep on a towel so your not doing you bedding every night.

Thats it.  I have lots of other things I look forward to using, but right now, baby is so small, he just needs me, and I just need him, and Travis.

Also, just remembered, Its not neccesary, but I like it, my Cell phone.  Entertainment, and I use an app to track baby's poop/pee/eating schedule.  Helps when you go to the Dr and they ask.  Also helps me remember which side to feed him from, and see baby's patterns without having to think about it.  I went with the prettiest free app I could find.  Theres probably better ones out there, but they're too complex for me, or cost money.  This one also has a statistics page which really helps me see his patterns and helps me expect what he needs when he's fussing.

And for local ladies, don't forget that public health will send nurses to you FOR FREE!  Its fabulous.  I was wishy washy on weather or not to call them, then they called me.  And even though I was doing good for the most part, I had a few questions, and having them come was really reassuring.  FABULOUS resource.  FYI.

Charley Eli Payton. A Birth Story

Okay, so its been a week, 2 weeks since Charley was born, and I want to get this birth story written before I forget the details.  Because the miracles are in the details.  Also, I want to share it with the world wide web because when I was prego-I couldn't get enough Birth Stories.  I was OBSESSED.  So, all you expectant mommas-this is for you...and myself.  Everyone else you can read it if you want....but I'm sparing no details. I did decide to call the birth canal just that-I know it has another anatomical name, but I don't want weirdo's finding my blog with crazy searches.

I suppose I should start off by saying that we had everything go according to plan.  I know that how my sons birth went is not always an option.  But we went in planning au natural and had no complications, and everything progressed smoothly, so we got the birth event of our dreams.  I only hope that all my future birth stories will follow suit...you know that whole each pregnancy is supposed to be easier legend that floats around?  I'm banking on that.  Because this one was pretty great, and I'm crossing my fingers I wasn't just totally spoiled.

Fun Fact #1.  I am an assistant coach for the LHS ballroom Dance team.  So my whole pregnancy I've been Ballroom Dancing.  Both helping the High school team (formation Ballroom) and also teaching at the Fairbanks Ballroom Dance Club of Fairbanks.  It was fabulous....and achy, but I fully believe staying active and moving helped my labor and delivery go so well.

Tuesday at the LHS team practice  we were talking calendars and upcoming performance schedule.  The next one being a day trip to Nenana to prefor


m for the Tripod Celebration.  This was scheduled for Saturday March 1st.  I told Stefani (head coach) that "I want to go on this Nenana trip, and I intend to go, but I need to check with the Dr at my appt tomorrow first."  That was the compromise with Travis when I told him about it.  Travis had said "you'll be 39 weeks, you don't have to go.  I don't think it's very prudent."  That last phrase me me laugh.  Nenana is a small town about an hour away from Fairbanks.  Stefani's reply to my hesitation was that "it was just an hour away, if your water does break or you go into labor we'd have time to get you back to town."  Dr Lawrason at our appt Wednesday told me that as long as I was feeling good, and not in labor it would be fine to go.  I looked at Travis and he agreed (whether he had changed his mind or not-he knew he couldn't stop me) and so it was set.

Fun Fact #2

 Dr Lawrason is an OBGYN who runs a one man office with a midwife, Lauren Baldwin.  I had been seeing Lauren my whole pregnancy.  When I went into Labor, she was still out of town. I only saw Dr Lawrason 2x prior to him delivering my baby.  Once a year ago when I was needing fertility tx, and once on Wednesday while Lauren was gone.  I didn't think I'd see him again.

About 3 weeks before my due date Lauren told me that she wouldn't be here my 39th week, something came up and she had to leave town.  She was confident I wouldn't deliver until after my due date, and said "I fully intent to be at your birth."  So, this appt with Dr Lawrason that last Wednesday in February was only the 2nd time I ever met him.  I laughed after the appt that after all the extra monitoring we had been doing because Charley was measuring small, Dr Lawrason got to deliver the happy news that Charley had caught up and no more ultrasounds or non stress tests were needed.  Little did I think that Dr Lawrason would get to have all the fun.  He got me one the medicine that helped us conceive, he delivered the good news about Charley's growth, he surely I thought wasn't going to get to deliver the baby as well.

Fast forward now to Saturday-about 9:30 am, I was getting ready for the dance trip to Nenana and went to use the bathroom (again) and out came my mucous plug.  There was no blood with it (so the term bloody show didn't apply) and a quick google search promised that it could still be weeks before delivery.  I also checked with a few friends-some never lost their plug, and one said she lost it in bits and pieces for a few weeks.  Combined with that info, and the fact that I was not having any contractions, I decided I was still going to go to Nenana.  Besides-I had convinced myself at this point that Charley was staying put until at least Monday, because Lauren was gone Sunday-Sunday.  Somewhere in my heart of hearts I must have known how this was really going to play out.  For the day trip to Nenana I decided "just in case" to pack a change of pants/underwear, a few snacks and lots of water.

One of the team parents got my garbage
bags to sit on and cookies to eat ;)

Fun Fact #3 Water breaking feels like wetting your pants, with never having had the urge to pee.

We made it to Nenana with no incident, found the small civic center where the party was happening, and the team quickly got ready and marked their routines.  The first performance went well.....there was alot of last minute reorganizing that made for a few mistakes they didn't get to sufficiently practice because of extenuating circumstances, but the crowd couldn't tell and the show went on.  Mid performance I was notified that the office we were using as a dressing room got locked, and so 9 months prego went running around the edge of the stage to get help.  The stage was a big empty space in the middle of a big room, so everyone saw me running.  A few people even scolded me after the performance saying "I thought you were running to tell Stefani your water had broken!"  or "You shouldn't be running when you are 9 months pregnant!"   I laughed the comments off and assured them that I and baby were fine, and that I wasn't going to go into labor until at least Monday when my midwife was back in town.  We had about an hour before the team was scheduled to dance again.  I used the bathroom again, and started talking with some of the team parents and family that I knew from church.  Their son and his wife were also here to see the team preform, she also pregnant, and using the same midwife, we were talking about the very soon arrivals, and Lauren.  I think I was again musing about how Lauren was out of town and so I was NOT going to go into labor until at least Monday.  Then, suddenly, without warning or any urge, I felt like I had just wet myself.  Peed my pants.  Which wouldn't surprise me as I had done this and another number a few times during my 39 weeks of baby building.  My Son LOVED hanging out on my bladder.  But, suspicious, I excused myself mid conversation to the tune of "haha, gotta go use the bathroom again"  very much aware that it could be my water that broke.  A little frantic inside, I tried to remember what I was supposed to remember about water breaking.....time, smell, amount? what was the other part of that acronym?  Glad I had my change of clothes, in the bathroom I sat on the toilet putting the pieces together. This is a good amount, wet my underwear and my pants (nothing running down my leg) I'm not feeling any contractions, it doesn't smell like pee....what does it smell like?  Its clear, it smells like seamen?  Yep, that smells like semen.  I don't have semen......  Thats what they say the amniotic fluid smells like right?  Yep, thats it.  What time is it?  Its 2:15....how long ago did this happen?  We'll say 15 mins ago.....we'll say it broke at 2.  Crud.... I didn't think to grab a pad....  good thing that grocery store is right there.  I need to go tell the other coaches....and get some pads or else these pants are going to be soaking by the time we get back (it kinda kept coming out whenever I moved).

Fun Fact #4  "labor" news travels quick.

 I went to the the room where the other assistant coaches were and hanging my head in defeat, and apology I chuckled out the phrase, "Sooo......*sigh*.....my water just broke."

The resulting reactions on their faces read "Are you for real"  And then they all quickly started brainstorming what needed to happen next.  Those women are fabulous.  Very efficient organized women I can only hope to aspire to be like.  While they jumped to action of rearranging seating and figuring out how to coordinate getting me back to town, I settled on changing pants, getting a pad on and calling FMH to see what they said.  Then, calling my husband who was at home and going to be thinking "I told you so."  While in the middle of preparing to rearrange costumes and car seats, team members (ages 14-18) all started filing in to poke their heads through the doorway and see the action unfold.  I laughed at them, the curiosity and fear of what Hollywood depicts "labor" and "water breaking" was in their eyes.  I assured them "There's nothing to see" and helped them laugh about the situation.  Explained that water breaking isn't an emergency, but that I did need to get back to town, and get to the hospital for antibiotics ***(Not the case for everyone, but I was GBS positive, normal for about 25% of women.  GBS being a bacterial normally found in all people's guts, was found also in my birth canal, and to protect baby from complications of an infection just needed IV antibiotics before delivery.)***

It really is a bit of a mini miracle that events unfolded this way though.  I was disappointed that this means Lauren wouldn't be there, but, I was not in pain or any real labor on the drive back to town.  The other 2 assistant coaches (Edie and Michelle) drove me back in my car.....and I was able to sorta get a message to Travis in between broken calls and texts (no service in the mountains).

About 4pm we arrived back into town and I let my mom know.  Which was in an attempt to contact travis better (we also have terrible signal at our house-so his phone wasn't cooperating either).   My mom kept asking questions though which was frustrating.  she also thought water breaking meant stand on your head and get to the hospital immediately-so her questions were really bugging me.  And I nver did get to ask her to contact Travis, she wouldn't let me explain before she blurted out another question.  "why aren't you at the hospital?" "Can I go to the pharmacy for you?" (When I said I needed antibiotics, she wasn't listening to the whole story!) "You were in Nenana?!?!!"

  *Big Sigh*  "Gotta go mom!  We'll let you know when he's here!"

About 4:30 we were at my house with Travis, and finishing up packing for the hospital (Cuz who packs for the hospital ahead of time?)  I had thrown some things into the pack and play so really all we had to do was grab a few more things and put them in the bag.

By 4:55 we were in the ER checking in, and headed up to the women's center.  At this point I was starting to feel a few random mild contractions.

Fun Fact #5  At some point during labor EVERYONE will annoy you.

Checking in to FMH they started by having me change into a gown.  I didn't think I would want to wear one of those but it was the easiest and i knew by wearing it I wouldn't ruin any of my clothes.  The first thing they did when I got there was check to confirm it was my water that broke and if i was dilated or not.  I was still feeling  happy and excited about what was underway at this point and laughing with the nurse Tanya about Lauren being gone.  I had never been checked before so when she went for it OH MY GOSH that was uncomfortable.  Just a heads up being "checked" is literally the nurse shoving her hand into the birth canal, and then shoving her fingers into your Cervix, and then shoving again to confirm your measuring what she thinks your measuring.  I was 1 cm, almost 2.  As she did that I was telling her "I don't like that" "Oh this is not fun."  "You can stop now!"  She thought I was hilarious.  Then she had to test for amniotic fluid.  Dry q-tip goes back up into the birth canal and swabs around generously.  And it hurts.  To me the best description is a sharp tearing pain.  The q tip being dry goes into an environment that doesn't like dryness and just fiddles around.  Not cool.  I think I actually told the nurse "I'm not sure I like you anymore"  And again she laughed.  I was sorta laughing, sorta crying.  It really hurt, but the whole situation was new and novel and I suppose a bit comical.  The whole order of how things had happened so far was not what I had planned, this baby was supposed to wait until MONDAY.  Silly kid.  

I had Travis call his parents and they came into town so Travis and his Dad could give me a priesthood blessing.  That was very comforting and reassuring.  Then they joined us down in the cafeteria to eat (I had finished the first dose of IV antibiotics by now so we could get up and move and walk around).  There was all sorts of good food, but the only thing that sounded a bit appealing was a small small salad.  During dinner contractions started getting more uncomfortable and a bit closer together.  I have to admit I never really felt like there was a "pattern" to the contractions.  They would tighten up and relax but then I still had to relax so it was hard for me to understand when they started and when they stopped.  So I found it easier to say I had x many in 15 minutes and to guesstimate their space and duration than to actually time them like the birthing classes suggest.  Maybe I would have made a bigger effort if I were laboring at home, but, I wasn't going to leave the hospital without a baby.  After eating Travis and his dad went to the car to bring in all our things, and Travis' mom stayed with me as we went back upstairs.  I was ready to move around for a little bit and she kept telling me "yeah your body knows what to do" and that was fine, but when she started saying "You have to breath through those contractions" I was starting to get a little impatient with her and ready for it to be just me and Travis and the nurses.  At one point she even asked "Have they confirmed that a baby will fit through there?"  And I really hope I didn't say anything mean back to her.....I know her question was out of love and concern and from her experience (all her babies had to come by C-section because her hips were "unfit for childbirth") but, like fun fact #5 states, At some point EVERYONE will annoy you.  Don't worry, it passes, and for me each annoyance was a minor and temporary moment then it was gone.

Anyways, Fun fact #6 When the the Nurse checking you in likes you, she'll make sure you get an AWESOME nurse at shift change.  Tanya even said at one point "I'm gonna wet myself, your hilarious!" And "I'll make sure you get a really great nurse tonight!"

Despite the torture I endure at the hands of Tanya, she was awesome, and she delivered on her promise, I did have a FABULOUS nurse that night.  Danielle was perhaps the only one that never annoyed me.  I was really hesitant to try new laboring methods as the evening went on, but she was patient and encouraging and told me the honest truth, she was attentive and kind and I just can't say enough about her.  Was so lucky to have her both the night I delivered and the next night I was there.  She said later that when she gt there that Saturday evening, Tanya came running to her and said "You have to meet my patient!"  So from the get go we were both excited to work together to get the baby out of me.

One of the things she did when my back labor was starting to get more painful and hard to bear, she offered a more midwife type pain management solution.  She and another nurse put 4 little intra-dermal saline shots into my lower back.  It works on the gateway theory of pain that suggests your body will only process one sensation at a time.  Near the base of my spine, the saline solution burned going into my skin, and it burned for a good minute or two, but when it stopped burning, the back labor was gone.  FABULOUS.  I could finally relax between contractions, and Travis got a break from having to apply so much counter pressure on my hips.  Travis was a superstar labor partner.  He was on his feet for those 12 hours, tired, with a bit of a head cold and quite uncomfortable bowels (nerves? Constipation?  Not sure but he wasn't comfortable at all) and he never once complained, didn't leave my side without first getting my consent.  There was one point when he was asking questions and I had to make him stop.  Question all day had been driving me nuts so I snapped "Don't ask me anything, just talk to me"  And he did.  He also Hummed some hymns to me later in the night which was very relaxing.  His voice, the familiar tunes, and the lack of lyrics gave me something to focus on that was outside of my pain.  While he hummed melodies I thought of the words that accompanied the tunes.  A very welcome distraction.

After a while, the back labor returned as the saline shots wore off.  At that point, Daniele offered to check me again. I was hesitant saying "I don't ever want to be touched like that again" but I was also really uncomfortable, and I wanted to know how much progress I had made, while scared that I hadn't made any progress.  Finally I consented, and we waited for a contraction that I could relax from, and then she checked, and with a big smile said "Well, you've reached your goal!"  I was SO relieved!  I told her at that point that yes, I wanted to get in the tub, she said she would go get it ready, I replied that in the meantime I would hop back in the shower.  Even now I started to feel some mild urges to push, but I tried to just breath through it and relax.  Danielle returned and we made it over to the tub room (which thankfully was not as far down a hallway as I thought it would be) and then I got in the tub.  There was some instant relief.  I would sit up when I was getting to warm, Travis fed me ice chips, and then as a contraction would hit it worked well for me to sink back into the water.  Travis said afterwards I was in there 45 mins, but to me is seemed like less.  I really started feeling urges to push at this point so Danielle went to get Dr Lawrason.  He came in, they helped me move over to the bed, and he checked me.  I was at an 8, almost a 9.  He allowed to me push on the next few contractions so he could see what was happening, and during the pushing I was stretching, so, he allowed me to keep pushing.

Fun fact #7 Pushing is HARD! 

 Its like running a marathon (Huge respiratory commitment involved) and also having the worst constipation ever.  You feel like you need to push out a poop that just won't come and your belly spasms because of it.   It can also be really frustrating because it feels like when you stop to catch your breath that the baby is going back inside of you.  Its really hard to tell if your progressing or not.  I really couldn't tell if I was having contractions or not at this point.  I just knew he was almost here, and I had to push push push.  The Dr was really quiet, the nurse was really quiet.  Travis would have been really quiet except for the occasional "your doing great"  and "He's almost here!"  Which I swear I heard him say like a million times.  I swear at one point I thought "You said that forever ago!  If he's almost here why isn't he here yet?"  I didn't say anything.  I just mostly kept my eyes closed and tried to focus on what I could feel and what I could do.  About the only thing Danielle said during the pushing was an occasional "slow down your breathing" or "hold your breath this time and keep holding it" She and Travis helped by holding my legs (and me holding onto them actually also helped, even though it was quite uncomfortable).  The other thing that kept me going was hearing dear sweet baby Charley's heart. Every time I heard that I knew he was still doing okay.  Awe gosh, just remembering that now makes my eyes well up.  Dr Lawrason seemed to push down on my skin in that area every time I started pushing-which was also way uncomfortable, and I resisted the urge to tell him so.  I figured he was probably doing that perineal massage thing I'd heard about, and that meant less likely to tear, so, I endured.  At one point when the head was crowning they asked me if I wanted to feel it, I just said no and kept doing my thing.  Travis peeked, and afterwards (thankfully later) he told me how weird the head looked.

Fun Fact #8  Delivery is fabulous.

I guess it took about an hour total, when finally, finally, the sweet sweet sensation came that The bulk of Charley's head was out, and then quickly I felt Dr Lawrason pull him out the rest of the way.  I heard him clear his nose, and then they placed my sweet Beautiful boy on my chest.  My eyes well up now just thinking about it, and about the beautiful miracle that is our Son.  Imediately I was SO in love.  Never have I felt the immense joy and peace that I felt in that moment.  I also remember thinking right then "I can do this again!  Not right now, and not for a little while, but this moment is so worth it."

Final fun facts:

#9 Charley Pooped on me immediately after delivery.
#10While I held Charley I was told that he was sunny side up, (confirming that was why I had back labor). And his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and shoulder. He was positioned kinda angled which is why his head was so misshapen (it came to a point up on the Left).  Despite the mishaped head and the swollen eyes, he was the most perfect thing I've ever seen.
#11I also used this time while Dr Lawrason was stitching me up (small 1 degree tear, forward not back) to ask if that was perineal massage he had been doing.  He confirmed it was and I quickly shared "I didn't like that, but thank you." The nurses from the nursery were also there, and they were a little worried about his breathing so I let them take him to do their tests.
#12He got an apgar score of 8/9.
#13 And was categorized as "mild respiratory distress"  (grunting in between cries, some retraction in his ribs and nose flaring) however after they brought him back to me and we did some quality skin to skin care and a little bit of nursing he pinked up and his breathing went completely normal.  All babies need is their mommies.
#14 The next morning when Dr Lawrason came to check on me, I told him my throat hurt from all the noise I made.  He told me "I don't think anyone has ever told me their throat hurt after delivering a baby"  and we laughed.  He also assured me I wasn't the loudest patient he had ever had.  Some of the noises I made were really throaty grunts while pushing, and rasberries with my lips while trying to slow down my breathing.  Not at all what I had imagined for myself, but its what worked for me.
#15 Charley was born at 2:02 in the morning on March 2nd. He shares a Birthday with Dr Suess!  He weighed 6lb .04 oz, and was 19 inches long.


If I had any tips for you mommas out there, it would be what my midwife told me on the phone (my fabulous nurses contacted her, and though she couldn't be there, she called me at the beginning).  "Take it one contraction at a time. I thought well duh when she said that, but if she hadn't said that, I would have really struggled.  There were a few contractions that left me thinking "How much longer do I have to do this?  I can't do this all night!" but each contraction is different. And I recalled Laurens words and refocused.  Some contractions are worse than others.  Some intense ones are followed by less intense ones, and if you can just focus on getting through the one your in, then focus on relaxing after, the time will pass pretty quickly.  I had also set for myself the 7cm goal with Lauren at one of my prenatal appointments.  The idea being that by 7cm we knew that my labor pattern would be well established and unlikely to stall out if I got in the tub.   And in my mind, if I could get to 7cm without pain interventions, I could do it the rest of the way.  It worked for me.

Also, post partum, I've had a fabulous support network, and Travis has been able to take ALOT of time off. If you can hack it, definately try to have someone with you for 2 weeks.  The first week I was pretty immobile/sore.  Travis was essential!  During the 2nd week, it was nice to have him but I was a little more independant.  He's still home, and still helpful, but I think if he had to be at work, now in the 3rd week, I'd be able to manage without him (he's home, but he's working in his office and I don't see him much during regular work hours).  Also, skin to skin contact is a fabulous little reset for me and Charley.  When nursing doesn't work, it seems like if I strip us both down (him to the diaper, me to the bra) then just cuddle, he'll calm down. I fear the day when that will no longer work.

Anyways, now that I got that all written finally, I hope you enjoy.  I'll be coming back to reminice often.