Happiness in Trials

"I'm not happy and I havn't been for a long time"

"I know how to repent, but this time, I didn't do anything wrong."

My friend said this to me the other day-she has got an unimaginably painful trial going on right now.

I've been in that dark place before.

And then I found my way out.

A priesthood blessing started the change for me. In it, Heavenly Father told me that "these trials come for one of two reasons. Either by transgression, or as an oppourtunity for growth."

With that insight, and knowing that I had not transgressed, a bit of the burden lifted. And I looked heavenward. What was I to learn from this? I looked in the scriptures. I searched the words of the prophets (we had a topical quote book-full of remarks from the prophets and apostles). I started filling my world with their comforting words. The burdens and sorrow I felt were not gone, but they were bearable. My own cross to bear.

Eventually, I had the epiphany that turned it all around.

Marla Lowder was speaking in church-and she read Alma 5: 26-27. After which, she asked a question. This question perplexed me more than the scripture so much, but what she asked was;

"Are we Humble enough to forgive our tresspassers?"

I thought about it alot in the following days and week. I prayed about it. And finally, after considering it for some time, I realized this:

Not forgiving the injustices which faced me would be like telling my savior that his atonement wasn't good enough.

Consider this, Christ paid the price already.

In the garden, he suffered the hurt I was feeling.

He knew what it was to be blameless and yet he took the blame.

He knew what it was like to suffer even though he didn't do anything wrong.

For me to continue in my grief and feelings of sorrow was too say to the Savior,

"You don't know what I'm going through.

Your sacrifice doesn't make up for what I've been through."

How prideful was I?

Though it took some time to completely let go of the hurt and anger and greif I was feeling,

My life was instantly lighter.

My trials were still there, but I knew I was not alone.

I could let go of the lonliness I felt.

I didn't have to be the martyr.

I have very poignant feelings and understanding now of the scripture found in Matthew 11: 28-30: where the savior says:

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Take my yolk upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly of heart:

and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

For my Yolk is easy, and my burden is light."

His yolk really is easy. His burden really is light. All it took was for me to understand my place and the role of the savior in my life. Even though I had done nothing wrong, I had a change of heart. A new resolve and understanding of life. Trials come and trials go. As Sue Hull always says,

"Life is hard and then you die."

What will I do with my time here on earth becomes the daily battle. If "Men are that they might have joy" don't you think God would want me to make the most of the trials that come my way? How do I do that? "Come what may and Love it" is a start.

I also try to follow the counsel of Gordon B Hinckley when he said,

"Cultivate an attitude of Happiness.

Cultivate a spirit of optimism.

Walk with faith,

rejoicing in the beauty of nature,

in the goodness of those you love,

in the testimony which you carry in your heart concerning things divine."

Sure does help.

Enriching Marriage

So, on Sunday, Travis had a talk.  And Sunday's theme in both Sacrament and Sunday school was "Enriching Marriage."  Let me tell you, listening to your husband talk about how to improve your marriage is a wonderful thing.  He talked about the good, the great, and the best things we do/can be doing.  His talk was assigned from this Elder Holland talk, but Travis and I both really enjoyed this talk he found while preparing his talk.  It was said by Stefani, that these words of guidance can apply to all relationships, and that's true.  So, if your interested, you can go read those.  But, what was on my mind while Travis was on the stand is what I want to share.

You see, right after Travis and I moved into second ward, they asked us to speak, and we were the ONLY speakers that day, so, there was time left over.  Hoping not to repeat that experience, I was thinking of what I could say if Travis ran out of time and asked me to come speak, and I guess it wasn't anything anyone but me needed to know right then, because I was not invited to speak....but, my thoughts went to the evening before our wedding, and the story of Elijah the prophet.

You see, Elijah was an amazing guy, probably one of my favorites.  He was SO obedient, God gave him greater authority than any man to walk the earth (except of course Christ).  By the authority of the Priesthood of Elijah, what is bound on earth is bound in Heaven, it is the whole basis for our ability to be sealed together in the temple.  Anyways, the story I went to specifically was of the widow woman.  After God sent Elijah to the wilderness for a time, he told Elijah to go to Zarapeth, in Zarapeth, God promised Elijah that a widow woman would sustain, or provide for him, that he should not starve.  Obediently, Elijah goes.  He finds the widow woman gathering sticks, and calls to her, famished, and asks that she get him some water.  As she goes to get him water, he also asks her for some bread.  And here the scriptures read,

  "And she said, As the Lord thy God Liveth,

 I have not a cake, but an handful of meal in a barrel, 

and a little oil in a cruse: and, behold, 

I am gathering two sticks that I may go in and dress it for me and my son,

 that we may eat it, and die." 

Here, Elijah replies,

 "Fear Not; go and do 

as thou hast said: but make me thereof a little cake first, 

and bring it unto me, and after make for thee and thy son.  

For thus saith the Lord God of Israel, 

the barrel of meal shall not waste, neither shall the cruse of oil fail, 

until the day that the Lord sendeth rain upon the earth. 

  "And she went and did according to the saying of Elijah, 

and she and he and her house did eat many days.

  "And the Barrel of Meal wasted not,

neither did the cruse of oil fail, 

according to the word of the Lord

which he spake by Elijah."

Now the next story in sequence of the book, is how her Son gets sick and dies. The woman, turns to Elijah, who becomes like a Christ figure, and takes her son, prays and asks God for her sons life to return. Mercifully, God answers Elijah's prayer. The Child revives, and Elijah brings him back to his mother, to which the woman says,

  

"By this I know that thou art a man of God, and that the word of the Lord in thy mouth is truth." 

Now, what I have written in my footnotes of my bible here is about how the woman went to Elijah, trusted him, and her family was saved.  Physically and spiritually.  If she had not had the faith to go to Elijah what would have happened to her?  Now, likewise, the allusion I was getting to, from the night before my wedding-

Travis was sick.  He had pink eye and a sinus infection.  I was breaking out, we were both nervous wrecks.  Thousands of miles from home, about to make the biggest covenants of our lives.  For in the Temple, we would covenants to be together for eternity, beyond this world. beyond our mortal lives, we have chosen to be together, and promised God to take care of each other and to stay together.  It was a big scary exciting joyful deal.  But, Travis asked his dad and my Brother in Law to give him a blessing.  It was a simple get well kind of blessing, but I had been hoping for words of comfort and assurance that we were making the right decision.  Well, he didn't get that, so I asked for a blessing.  And oh my goodness.  I was instructed to draw closer to the Lord to draw closer to Travis, and promised beautiful blessings, words of peace and comfort were uttered.  And I knew that this is for real, that we are in it for the long haul, and that Heavenly Father has promised to be with us every step of the way as we invite his presence in.  Its a beautiful wonderful joy to know that my husband and I have the same life line.  So far, everything has been what you call marital bliss (besides the silly arguments that get blown out of proportion, but we quickly forgive and make makeup).  Everything has been working together beautifully, our car works, our apartment is financially government assisted, we have received unexpected school grants, and I feel bad talking about it, because I know how unusual it is.  Sometimes, I fear that greater trials still lay ahead in our path, in fact, I know they do.  That's life.  But, right now, I am at peace, for  as the Prophet Joseph Smith spoke, "I know in whom I trust; I stand upon the rock; the floods cannot, no the shall not overthrow me."  And my husband stands on that rock with me.  And that means everything.  

One last thought on the whole subject, are words from Howard W Hunter.  He said,

 "Whatever Jesus lays his Hands upon lives.  If Jesus Lays his hands upon a marriage, it lives.  If he is allowed to lay his hands on a family, It lives!"

Mine lives, and Life is Great!

Institute

So, yesterday was institute and seminary graduation.  I'm not an institute "graduate" yet, but I did get a certificate of acheivement.  Which was pretty cool.  I'll shamelessly admit that I like recognition.  I thrive on it.  Now I must shamefully admit that yesterday although we celebrated instutute graduation, we also missed church.  Ha.  Oops.  So, when we woke up and got moving, we sat down, and I pulled out the old institute manual titled "The Gospel and the Productive Life" and I let Travis pick a lesson, he picked Goal Setting.

We read the first part of the lesson and that talked about all the easy stuff, like long term, short term, realistic goals, goals to help you acheive goals and yadda yadda, at which point we talked about our trouble getting up for early morning church after a week of no early morning stuff.  And so the first Goal we made is to make it to church at least 10 mins early.  In order to acheive that we also set the goal of going to bed by 11:30 on Saturday nights.  After that Travis was pretty much done-but I kept reading.  And while reading and after the instutute graduation I can't help but to ponder on the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  How complete it is.  It doesn't just tell you "change, become better, do good" It outlines clearly how to change, how to help yourself become better.  How to fix your mistakes, and how to be happy and true to yourself by being true first to God.

The first talk at Institute Graduation was about enduring to the end.   I know that my Savior lives, and that he loves me, and that he has provided a way for me to be happy.  It is through his atonement that I find comfort when I am faced with the afflictions of mortality.  It is by obedience to the Gospel of Jesus Christ that I align my will with true principals, principals of faith, success, happiness, righteousness, self reliance, productivity, forgiveness, and love.  By so aligning my will with Gods will, and living in accordance with principals of truth, I become the best Melanie I can be, and in that I have joy.  And as I try to become the best Melanie I can be by following the commandments and guidance of my Father in Heaven, he makes more of me than what my best efforts could produce.

I've been kinda slacking in a lot of areas, I was telling Travis yesterday how after I graduated from Young Womens and started attending Relief Society, I was impressed with how much we need those programs.  Its like in Youngwomens its this upward climb of goal after goal after goal, and though theres no goal program in Relief society, theres oppourtunities to serve, and learn, which help us to continue climbing up.  If we stop climbing, we plateau, and if we plateau very long, we start going back down the hill.  I've been plateauing lately, its like, I just attended the temple and made the covenantes of eternal salvation-so I'm good right?  Wrong.  I need now more than ever to put my best foot forward and I need to keep climbing.  I have SO much work to do, SO much more responsibility to my covenants.  Of whom much is given much is required.

Again, I'm thankful for institute and all the programs of the church, and for the inspired guidance of friends and leaders, and for the blessings that come from making and keeping covenants, the gift of the Holy Ghost who communicates to me what I should be doing  to be better and happier.  And with this, I say farewell, I'm off to make and acheive some goals, off to change and improve!  till next time, Melanie