23 ish days

about every 23 ish days I have a terrible week.

Weeks when the tilapia has bones
And those bones get stuck in my throat.

Weeks when my biggest accomplishment is that the dishes fit in the washer perfectly-
because I didn't make any real food so I didn't get big pans dirty

Weeks when my phone deletes my contacts twice, randomly.

Weeks when I hurt physically, emotionally-litterally a mess.

I showered!  ---Is stated with an exlamation, because that was the next big accomplishment.  When little people are waiting hungry and bored and in need-showering really is an accomplishment.

Weeks when I feel ignored, insignificant.

Weeks when these 23 ish days passed by too quickly-I was just recovering from the last time, and then it starts all over.

Weeks when I cry at anything close to inspirational

Weeks when I have to wait for the Dr to call back with results......and he doesn't, so I sit and worry, while trying not to worry.

Weeks when I pray that this only last but a moment, because I don't know how those other women do this as long as they do.

Weeks when I tell my husband that his test will come back fine-certain that the problem is mine.

When my little brother tells his dad that my house is boring and cries when he gets dropped off, and I admit, I've been boring this week-because its been one of those weeks...

Where I start to put it all out there, tell people whatI think, that this sucks.  But, I don't want to be the one dragging everyone else down.

When I've unjustly bitten of Travishead for insignificant and unjustified hurts.

And I feel that 23 days really isn't fair.  Those 5 days everyone else gets really would make a difference.

Then I read the others stories.
     No eggs.
        Emergency Hysterectomy-she was hemmorrhaging
               PCOS
                   Endometriosis
                            No known medical reason.

4 years and after an exploratory surgery I had a positive test
6 years and no answers
5 years and no explanation, but we had a baby

23 days is rough.